“I'm kind of stuck. I just can't seem to move forward. I can't let go or don't know how."
“I know it makes me unhappy. I know I'm miserable. But I can't change it, I am stuck. Something is blocking me. Something deep inside. It seems like an anchor holding me down. I feel a strong tightness around my chest. My throat is closing up. My breathing is very shallow. I feel a big lump in my throat. It's an unbearable pressure in my head. And everything is getting bigger and heavier. I feel paralyzed. How am I supposed to move?"
If you feel stuck in life this often has very deep roots. Whether it is only in one area of life e.g. a relationship you just can't let go off, or in general. Or maybe it's the job that burns you out but you just can't get yourself out off the situation. You can't go, you can't let go.
“I'm already trying. I've gone to CBT or talk therapy for years now. I know all this, but I can't do it. It's probably a part of me, that I just have to live with." INCORRECT! Why are we stuck? What are the blockages?
First of all they are not part of us, that we have to live with all our lives. We stand in our own way until our suffering is so unbearable that it pulls the ground out from under our feet. Even then, modern medicine has a great variety of pills for us. So that we can keep suffering even longer. Thereby we don't have to feel what we don't want to feel for a long time already. And where does it end?
How long can we keep living in a zombie status. In this endless tragedy of distractions. Netflix, What's App, Tinder, Insta, Insta, Insta. The modern attempt at crisis management and escape. And what are we running from? From Ourselves, all the time!
It's so unendurable to be ourselves. Even the pills help us to take our minds off ourselves. They help us in a way we don't have to think our own thoughts until the end. We don't have to feel ourselves.
We think something on the outside is standing in our way all the time. Sometimes the partner is to blame, sometimes that life event, sometimes it's the parents' fault. They are to blame for the fact that we cannot move, that we just stand rigidly, immobile, frozen.
When something in our life just doesn't seem to work out again and again and again, maybe it's the call of the universe/god (whatever you want to call it) that we're on the wrong track in life and it doesn't dissolve unless we look within. What we have not processed in our lives, will be reflected back to us over and over, until we finally look at it. It will continue to trigger us, until we finally clean up.
The resistances we face in life are (false) "fixed ideas" that were imprinted on our minds/subconscious. Very often during childhood or in our teens. While we usually call them "traumas"(a bit overused for my taste), we need to clarify: they can also be seemingly "harmless" experiences from an adult rational mind point of view. E.g. the mother suddenly had to go to the hospital for some days a treatment. The 4-year old mind is not able to grasp it in that way. So the fixed ideas in this case can be: Mommy is leaving me! Mommy doesn't love me! --> I'm unlovable! (To point a very drastic picture here, so you can see the point.) E.g. this fixed idea can ultimately lead to clinging to someone in relationships. And to the incapability to leave a relationship that doesn't serve you well.
In an open, loving & supportive environment these emotions can be expressed and processed, of course. Problems arise when the environment doesn't provide the support needed. And the emotions are suppressed. They are still "stuck" in our bodies so to say. This will lead to "emotional baggage" we will be carrying around with us. They can be locked up somewhere deep down. We are not aware of how our subconscious was shaped. We may also have no idea what these false beliefs even are.
Another example is the fixed belief that you are not good enough or need to suffer in order to be loved, which can ultimately lead to sufferings in relationships but also suffering in a job, because only then "you are allowed to be successful".
The energies (emotions) we carry in our bodies block us so much that we can talk about them, rationalize them and motivate ourselves as much as we want. They won't let go until we've allowed them to show themselves to us. Until we are able to recognise them. Until we are ready to allow them and feel them. To acknowledge them. And in very few cases are we ready for it.
Until we are ready for this kind of trauma / emotional release therapy, the best thing we can do is to let all the misery & discomfort be there for the moment. Add a little bit of acceptance to feeling unwell. Say: "Yes, I'm feeling unwell at the moment and that's okay for now." Press the pause button on wanting to get rid off your feelings.
Then we will start to see that these feelings are not our identity. There is something or someone"more" or "higher" that can observe these feelings and the thoughts we have around them. Something that is aware of all the emotions and sensations.
I say that it is time to stop blaming others for how you feel. You have all the power and responsibility to choose for your body and mind. You decide what lingers in it and what does not.
When we step into feeling instead of distraction and procrastination, then comes relief. Deeper breathing. Air that can pass again. Energy that can flow again. More and more every day. Emotional release is what happens when you free yourself from the blockages. It helps you to feel freer, lighter and more alive. Detach yourself from your anchor.
Emotional release work comforts you when bringing out and processing these deeply buried emotions. You don't have to do anything but come into your body. Allow the sensations there. Allow yourself to "surrender" - for the moment. Let the fight in your head rest for a while. That's when you stop swimming against the tide.
Have you ever heard of the "miracle cures" that happened when a person decided, "I just don't know what to do anymore, I give up, whatever will be will be, and I'm fine with it!"? It's simple. But not easy. Especially as long as you find yourself swimming restlessly against the resistances instead of letting yourself drift down.
Sometimes the greatest courage a human can show is to look within him/herself!
Love, Natascha
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